[personal profile] maayacolabackup
Title:Let it Burn
Rating:NC-17
Pairing:Jiyong/ Seungri
Summary: Seungri is prettiest when he cries.
Notes: Because I asked Ri for GD/Seungri, and realized I'd never written any myself. I wanted to write something...fluffy...and...well.




Sometimes, Jiyong looks in the mirror and he wants to scream, because he's trapped inside a cage of his own creation and the bars are so tight around him it feels impossible to breathe.

When he does a solo CD, he dyes his hair platinum blond, wears bright make-up, and does obscene things onstage that get him chastised by people all over Korea, and it doesn't matter, because whatever Jiyong touches turns to gold.

Jiyong can cover himself in things that shine and things that shimmer, too, but no matter how gilded, a cage is still a cage, and Jiyong won't ever be escaping, until he is old and gray and forgotten.

And when he showers, and the glitter and hairspray run down his body and into the drain of the shower, and all the pretty is washed away, Jiyong doesn't feel any different.

The worst part of it all is that even though Jiyong feels paralyzed by the weight of everyone's gaze on him, pinning him under the brutal spotlight, sometimes, all the time, Jiyong loves every second of it.

Seungri seems to understand. Jiyong pretends like Seungri understands it all. It makes him feel less guilty.

***

Seungri's mouth is the forbidden fruit, he fucking knows better than to touch, but he is Eve, and the apple is so sweet, and Jiyong tries without success to feel ashamed as the juice runs down his face and drips onto his chest.

"Hyung," Seungri says, and his voice is excited. "Hyung!"

Jiyong looks at Seungri, and he feels overwhelmed by his optimism, by his joy. It's as if Jiyong is the dark and Seungri is the light, and Seungri is so pretty when he smiles.

It's so easy to take from Seungri, because he's eager to please, and Jiyong is the person he wants to please the most.

Jiyong doesn't know why he wants to make Seungri hurt, why he wants to kiss him so hard his lips bruise and claw red lines down his back, lines so deep the old ones are still visible when Jiyong creates new ones.

Jiyong is an artist, and Seungri's body is his canvas, and Jiyong's greedy fingers paint bruises and pleasures across Seungri's fevered skin, and Seungri moans his name, his title, aloud in long, low moans as Jiyong fucks him deep as he can go.

Seungri always says "I love you," and Jiyong never says it back.

Seungri is prettiest when he cries.

***

"I'm really fucked up," Jiyong tells Seungri one day as they lie naked against Jiyong's white sheets, legs tangled together and chests rising and falling as one.

"Aren't we all?" Seungri replies, and Jiyong drags his calloused fingers along the smooth line of Seungri's jaw.

"Not you," Jiyong says. "I haven't ruined you yet."

"You won't ruin me," Seungri whispers, his fingers trailing up the length of Jiyong's arm and gliding along the pale skin of his shoulder. "I'm not that easy to break."

Jiyong disagrees, because he watches Seungri fracture under the weight of Jiyong's taking, a little more every day, and he wonders if in the end, there will be anything left to take.

***

Seungri's eyes are transparent, his every emotion written across the angle of his lashes and the size of his iris, and when he's sad, the corners tilt downwards.

Seungri is sad a lot these days, and Jiyong can guess why, but he can't stop reaching for Seungri in the dark.

Seungri's aching gasps and needy groans are like the jangling keys to his cage, and when Seungri comes undone beneath him, Jiyong feels like he's flying free.

***

Jiyong doesn't like it when other people touch Seungri, or when Seungri touches other people.

When he feels jealous, he bites his way down to Seungri's chest, nipping angrily at his nipples and stroking leisurely with his small hand up and down Seungri's cock, until Seungri begs him to come.

The more jealous he is, the more he makes Seungri beg, because he likes that this, this moment, is something over which he has complete control.

It's an anchor in the chaos, and as he makes Seungri burn, he burns too, and at least they are burning together.

***

Seungri likes it best when Jiyong kisses him long and slow early in the morning, hair wet from the shower and skin free of products or scents.

Jiyong likes it best in the bathroom, backstage after a show, when Seungri smells like sweat and hairspray and triumph, eye liner and mascara bleeding around his eyes, and Seungri tilts his head back with parted lips as Jiyong pounds into him against the cold plaster wall, sneakers squeaking on the ceramic tile.

***

It's so easy to take, from Seungri, because he's so damn eager to please.

"Hyung," he whispers, when Jiyong pulls him close and claims his mouth. Seungri's lips part without hesitation, accepting Jiyong with only a small whimper of surprise as Jiyong's tongue slides against his own. Seungri is always accepting him, just the way he is, and sometimes, Jiyong thinks he could love him.

But most of the time, Jiyong knows the truth-- he doesn't love anything but the furious screaming of the fans and singing to a sold-out stadium, the burn in his eyes after four days without sleep as he struggles to meet impossible deadlines, and the feeling of sweat and make-up rolling down his neck under hot white lights.

He doesn't hate anything but that, either.

Seungri melts into him, though, and Jiyong craves the feeling of Seungri's soft skin brushing against his own as Jiyong kisses his way down his chest to his cock. Jiyong craves the mewling sounds Seungri makes when Jiyong puts his mouth on Seungri's erection, tongue toying with the head as he applies suction to the sensitive underside. Jiyong craves the gentle upward rocking of Seungri's hips as Jiyong circles the rim of his entrance with an unhesitating finger, and the way Seungri's body gives to that finger when it pushes its way inside of him. He craves the way Seungri's body molds around his cock, and the way Seungri gasps as Jiyong thrusts into him, too hard and too fast.

He craves the way he feels when he comes, too, and maybe, just maybe, he craves the way Seungri's arms wrap around him, and the way Seungri always pretends he can't see Jiyong crying.

"I love you," Seungri says, and Jiyong doesn't say anything at all, but Seungri doesn't demand anything from him. Seungri never demands anything from him at all, and maybe Jiyong craves that most of all.

Sometimes, when Seungri sleeps, Jiyong takes slow measured breaths and lets his eyes trace the curve of Seungri's lips and the fall of his hair against his forehead. He curls his body into Seungri's and laces their fingers together, and swallows hard when Seungri turns his body toward him, opposite arm wrapping around Jiyong's waist, lying heavy and warm.

And maybe Seungri is prettiest when he loves.

Date: 2011-09-02 03:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] natsukashi-yume.livejournal.com
Oh, this was so angsty and beautiful. I've never attempted to read Big Bang fic after an initial and traumatizing foray, but this is just gorgeous and G-Dragon is pretty much ripe for angsting (the way he's this perfectionist, workaholic reminds me of someone else...).

I loved the structure in this story, the way it breaks down all the blurry incidents into what Jiyong likes and hates and loves. It has a dreamlike quality but it leaves a vivid impression.

"Seungri's eyes are transparent, his every emotion written across the angle of his lashes and the size of his iris, and when he's sad, the corners tilt downwards." LOVE this description.

Date: 2011-09-02 10:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
I'm so afraid to read fanfic, sometimes. like, it's a minefield but there are so many treasures that take me a lot of lost limbs to find.

That said, I think I'll read a big bang fanfic.

Date: 2011-09-05 02:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ryogrande.livejournal.com
beautiful, beautiful angst. your writing is so versatile and consistent at the same time, the same words of love and forever easily twisted into heart-breaking despair. it's the technical style that makes this fic so strong, the pacing and formatting and words, and it's perfect. just like gd.

Date: 2011-09-05 03:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
Thank you T__T it's amazing what context does, how curling up next to someone can be an action of comfort or a desperate plea for love. Thank you for the lovely comment, it's bling bling like LED

Date: 2012-02-29 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katmillia.livejournal.com
OKAY SO

THIS IS MY FACE RIGHT NOW (ACTUAL REPRESENTATION):

o____________________O

AND I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD LIKE THIS PAIRING BUT OH SURPRISE SURPRISE IT'S YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS AMAZING AND HELLO, NOW I DO

SO APPARENTLY I'M INTO BIG BANG FIC NOW

LET'S ALL ENCOURAGE THIS, THIS CANNOT END WELL AT ALL

aosjfajsfjsjfkdsjkfjksdjfksad i loved this so much omg asjfkdsfkdjskfjskdjfkasjfjds ♥

Date: 2012-02-29 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maiamcw.livejournal.com
HAHAHA HI KATY.

HOW DID YOU FIND THIS NEVER-POSTED-SHARED-READ-BY-ANYONE-EVER SELF-INDULGENCE FIC?! ASDFGHLH MY SECRET KPOP PAST>Q>>Q>

AND AKSFDGJDGJHOGJ G-RI AHHHHHHH I LOVE G-RI SO MUCH. It's only been renewed by recent interviews>L
S Gv where GDragon talked about Seungri crying and it made him want to be a better person after the marijuana scandal SORRY I'M UNNECESSARILY EVANGELIZING.

I ENCOURAGE BIG BANG FIC I WILL SEND YOU AN EMAIL.

<3 <3 I AM GLAD YOU LIKED THIS I AM WRITING GTOPRI RIGHT NOW IN MC'S INBOX COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.

Date: 2012-03-01 01:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tees2mai.livejournal.com
Jiyong disagrees, because he watches Seungri fracture under the weight of Jiyong's taking, a little more every day, and he wonders if in the end, there will be anything left to take.
love this line.

I think gri can never be just fluffy, angst always creeps in somehow and this fic is beautiful. the characterizations are absolutely perfect. seungri ♥

Date: 2012-04-04 05:54 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Omg how can this not have anymore comments?!! :o like...DAAAAYUM x)

"It's so easy to take from Seungri, because he's eager to please, and Jiyong is the person he wants to please the most."

I really felt as if that sentence was the core of the fic, so beautiful and perfect <3 really captures Seungri and his view of Ji .___.

Date: 2012-04-04 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
This was my very first BB fic... I really wanted to try and capture the angst and kind of quiet pain that makes G-Ri so pretty to me T__T Thanks for commenting!

Date: 2012-05-21 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stroplok.livejournal.com
But most of the time, Jiyong knows the truth-- he doesn't love anything but the furious screaming of the fans and singing to a sold-out stadium, the burn in his eyes after four days without sleep as he struggles to meet impossible deadlines, and the feeling of sweat and make-up rolling down his neck under hot white lights.

He doesn't hate anything but that, either.


beautiful

Date: 2012-05-22 04:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
Thank you <3

Date: 2012-05-30 06:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinybars.livejournal.com
He curls his body into Seungri's and laces their fingers together
CLINGING TO THIS LINE FOR DEAR LIFE

You should expand on the two minutes in that bed between waking up and GD starting to be GD sdkfjsfñ

Date: 2012-05-30 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
i already wrote my version of fluff you should just deal with it.

Date: 2012-05-30 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinybars.livejournal.com
BUT I AM ON AN EVIL MISSION

Date: 2012-05-30 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
i see your evil mission and raise you Jiyong.

Date: 2012-05-30 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinybars.livejournal.com
Butterfly MV. GRi version.

Date: 2012-05-30 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
that's an elaborate fantasy in jiyong's head. actually he's got seungri locked up in chains in his basement, and he's tripping on X, and Seungri lets him keep him chained there without complaint because he loves him and he'd rather suffer with GD than be free without him.

Date: 2012-05-30 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinybars.livejournal.com
#cantwin

Date: 2012-05-30 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinybars.livejournal.com
but ok seriously this is beautiful in all its fucked up glory ♥ messy otps ♥

Date: 2012-05-30 06:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maayacola.livejournal.com
<3 <3 the more they make each other cry through absolute fucked-up-ness the better.

Date: 2012-07-15 06:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cecesuenghyun.livejournal.com
you are just a perfectionist!! dont stop this and keep more coming(:

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