A Bad Habit (Shiryota, NC-17)
Aug. 17th, 2011 03:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maayacolabackupTitle: A Bad Habit
Pairing:Shiryota (Ryo Nishikido/ Yuu Shirota)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "Are you seriously dressed like a nun right now?" Ryo deadpans, as Shirota leans casually against his door like he's not dressed like he should be living in a cloister. "What the fuck is this shit?"
WARNINGS: Some religious references used in an inappropriate way.I'm a Catholic, but this was just asking for it.
Notes: For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wintersdancer , in honor of her icon. I missed these two T_T
***
"Are you seriously dressed like a nun right now?" Ryo deadpans, as Shirota leans casually against his door like he's not dressed like he should be living in a cloister. "What the fuck is this shit?"
"It's a costume," Shirota replies, and duh, obviously it's a costume, but what Ryo wants to know is why the hell Shirota is standing at the door of his apartment at two in the morning, dressed up like a six-foot-four pinnacle of virtue. "For my new drama."
"Oh, that's nice," Ryo says sweetly. "Have a nice evening." He tries to shut the door, but Shirota wedges himself between the wall and the door, preventing Ryo from closing it and going back to bed. "Shirota, seriously, we are not good enough friends for this."
"Please," Shirota says, and he looks Really Fucking Dumb in his little gay outfit. "I need your help."
"Did you kill someone?" Ryo asks urgently, subconsciously attempting to close the door on Shirota again. "Are you dressed up as a nun in some weird type of sexually-confused penance to God?"
"I told you it was for a drama, you ass," Shirota says, a little impatiently. "Are you going to let me in or not?"
"I don't have much choice, now do I?" he says, looking at Shirota's large frame standing half-outside and half-inside Ryo's apartment. "Get the fuck in here before the neighbors start staring."
"Thank God," Shirota says, and then glares as Ryo snickers. "I hate you."
"This is my house. And whatever happened to 'thou shall not hate,' or whatever?"
"Oh good, you're awake now, and we can all be treated to what passes as your sense of humor," Shirota mumbles toward the floor, and Ryo puts his hands on his hips.
"What are you doing here?" Ryo prompts, and Shirota leans against the front door with relief.
"I was filming for my drama," Shirota starts, and then he sighs, and his face looks so melancholy from within his habit that Ryo can't listen because he's too busy laughing his ass off.
"What do you call a nun that walks in her sleep?" Ryo gasps out, and Shirota sighs to himself, and nods as if he knew this was coming. "A roamin' Catholic!" Ryo slaps his own thighs, and he know tons of nun jokes, because no jokes are funnier than the ones that piss off large groups of people.
"Why, oh why, was your place the closest," Shirota asks rhetorically, his eyes rolling ceiling-ward. He looks like a devout nun, and this gets Ryo started on a new bout of chuckles. "Anyway, I was filming for the drama, and I was too tired to change, figuring I'd shower at home. So I started to drive home, but my tire went flat."
"Okay," Ryo says. "And? Change it."
"Well, I was going to, except I didn't have a spare. And I'd left my cellphone in one of the trailers. And I have no cash in my, you know, nun habit."
"How do you get a nun pregnant?" Ryo says, because he can't resist. "Dress her up as an altar boy!"
Shirota pretends like Ryo isn't speaking, and continues his story. "I was kind of hoping to use your phone," he concludes with a long suffering look in his eyes. "If you don't mind."
"You were driving home...in that outfit?" Ryo shakes his head. "Yeah, you can use my phone. Meanwhile, I'm going back to bed. I'm going to be laughing at you in my sweet, sweet dreams."
"Thanks, Nishikido," Shirota says with a smile, and damn it if he isn't still handsome, even in a frock made for for chaste women. "I knew there was kindness buried deep inside you. Very deep."
Ryo narrows his eyes. "Do you really want to aggravate me right now? Cause I have more nun jokes."
"I was praying that you'd be too tired to be a dick."
"You should have been praying for a new face. One that doesn't make you look like an avian predator."
"You're such a charmer," Shirota tells him, sauntering, what the fuck, sauntering, into Ryo's kitchen and picking up the phone. Damn Shirota's heritage for that height that makes him look like a model in the frumpiest, most bizarre getup Ryo has ever seen on a man.
Ryo shakes his head, to clear out the cobwebs, because clearly there are cobwebs, because no matter what Kamenashi says, nun habits do not make people more sexy. (Although Ryo is more inclined to believe that Kamenashi just always finds Meisa sexy.)
Ryo retreats to his bedroom, collapsing exhausted into his bed. A part of him thinks this must be some really bizarre dream, because no way is Shirota Yuu in his kitchen wearing a nun costume on the phone with a car repairman. And no way is Ryo here in his room, getting inexplicably turned on about it. The only explanation is somnolence, really.
Unfortunately, Ryo's dream is actively keeping him from going to sleep. Something about Shirota's giant, oversized nose and giant oversized body is emblazoned on the back of Ryo's eyelids, and when Shirota opens his bedroom door, Ryo's got no way of hiding his giant, oversized erection.
"Well, well, well, what have we here?"
Ryo has been embarrassed in the past, but not really on this level. He kind of wants to be smited where he lies, for thinking dirty thoughts about a nun, but alas, karma never strikes when you want it to.
And then, suddenly, Shirota is on his hands and knees beside Ryo, and the black cotton fabric of his costume is stroking the bare skin of Ryo's arm, and Ryo can't help but think this is way hotter than it should be.
Shirota's eyes light up with mischief, a smile playing about his mouth. "A man asks a nun if he can walk her back to the convent. She says, 'Just this once.' Upon arriving, he asks if he can kiss her. She replies, 'Well, alright, as long as you don't get into the habit.'"
Ryo groans, but it's not at the joke, no not at all. It's because Shirota has wrapped his long, agile fingers around Ryo's cock, and when Ryo looks down, he can see the outline of Shirota's hand moving up and down under his boxers. "Fuck," Ryo says, and Shirota's smile widens.
"Ryo-chan, you want to get into my habit," Shirota says delightedly. "I just want to warn you," he whispers into Ryo's ear, and Ryo shudders because this is so so so wrong and Yamapi can never find out about this or he'll never live it down. "It's a very bad habit."
Before Ryo even knows what's happening, Shirota's got his boxers on the floor and his lips wrapped around Ryo's cock. "You're probably going to hell," Ryo tells him. "Like, don't nuns take a vow of chastity?"
"Oh sure," Shirota tells him, releasing Ryo's cock with a pop, and Ryo hisses sat the cold air on the wet, excited flesh. "But I'm not going to let you fuck me." He spits on the head of Ryo's cock, and swirls his tongue on the slit. "I'm going to preserve my 'virginity' and fuck you, instead."
As he talks, cold, lubricated fingers touch his entrance, and Ryo's hips surge off the bed. Shirota kisses his hip soothingly, before running his tongue around the base of Ryo's shaft in a pacifying gesture. "Calm down, my little lamb."
"Where the heck did the lube come from?" Ryo pants, as one of Shirota's long digits slides into him smoothly, dragging and searching his inner walls for the spot that'll make him scream.
"I said I didn't have cash in my habit," Shirota says. "One always has to be prepared."
"What, are you a boy scout, too? How many weird kinky fetish costumes you got, Shirota?"
"Clearly I just need this one to get into your pants," Shirota responds, and then there are two fingers inside of Ryo, and he's being finger fucked on his bed by a man in a nun's costume, for goodness sakes, what has his life become? Fucking amazing is what, he decides, when a third finger joins the assault on his prostate, and then he stops thinking, because Hallelujah this feels good.
"Three nuns are walking down the street, when a man jumps out and flashes them," Shirota says, his left hand wrapping around Ryo's cock as his right hand slips out of Ryo and lines his shaft up with Ryo's stretched entrance. "The first nun has a stroke," he says, pushing in. He gasps, and then continues. "The second nun has a stroke," he huffs, and jerks his hand lazily up Ryo's dick, "and the third one didn't touch him," he hisses, and Ryo doesn't know why Shirota's nun jokes are better than his, but he doesn't care as long as Shirota just moves already.
"Move, damnit," Ryo says, and Shirota chuckles, and he's still completely dressed, and Ryo can't see what's happening under the habit but he can definitely FEEL it.
"Don't use such naughty language when you're fucking a nun," Shirota chastises, and Ryo tries to roll his eyes but they end up rolling into the back of his head in pleasure, which builds and builds as Shirota's large frame moves above him and all around him.
When Ryo comes, it's almost a surprise, because it happens so fast and he feels so completely spent. Shirota comes careening after him, collapsing on top of him, and Ryo feels like he's suffocating in the thick cotton of Shirota's costume. "Get off of me, bro," Ryo grunts.
"That's 'sister', to you," Shirota replies, breathless. Ryo feels a bit breathless himself, and a bit warm, and a bit affectionate too, all of which are unacceptable feelings even if you take into account the mind-blowing sex.
"Why are you so heavy?"
"It's cause I'm so full of faith," Shirota responds with a laugh. "Well, I have to head back to my car, the repairman is on his way, gracias a Dios," he says. "I was coming in here to tell you that, but I got...distracted."
Ryo flushes, and then he hisses.
"Tsk tsk," Shirota chides him, wagging a finger. "I'll be back later. Be a good little lamb while I'm gone."
"Why are you coming back?" Ryo asks, and despite the venom in his tone he feels strangely excited.
"Today's the sabbath," Shirota says. "But I plan on doing a lot of things to you that don't bear any relation to resting."
"You wearing that?" Ryo asks, before he can stop himself.
"Naw," Shirota says with a smirk. "Maybe the boy scout costume next time."
"A dry cleaners opens up next door to a convent. The owner goes to talk to the Mother Superior of the convent, and asks her, 'you got any dirty habits?'" Ryo's eyes are locked on the ceiling.At Shirota's chuckle, he looks over at him, and Shirota is leering.
"I've got one or two," he says, and then he's gone, and Ryo's never going to get any sleep now.
Pairing:Shiryota (Ryo Nishikido/ Yuu Shirota)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "Are you seriously dressed like a nun right now?" Ryo deadpans, as Shirota leans casually against his door like he's not dressed like he should be living in a cloister. "What the fuck is this shit?"
WARNINGS: Some religious references used in an inappropriate way.
Notes: For
wintersdancer , in honor of her icon. I missed these two T_T***
"Are you seriously dressed like a nun right now?" Ryo deadpans, as Shirota leans casually against his door like he's not dressed like he should be living in a cloister. "What the fuck is this shit?"
"It's a costume," Shirota replies, and duh, obviously it's a costume, but what Ryo wants to know is why the hell Shirota is standing at the door of his apartment at two in the morning, dressed up like a six-foot-four pinnacle of virtue. "For my new drama."
"Oh, that's nice," Ryo says sweetly. "Have a nice evening." He tries to shut the door, but Shirota wedges himself between the wall and the door, preventing Ryo from closing it and going back to bed. "Shirota, seriously, we are not good enough friends for this."
"Please," Shirota says, and he looks Really Fucking Dumb in his little gay outfit. "I need your help."
"Did you kill someone?" Ryo asks urgently, subconsciously attempting to close the door on Shirota again. "Are you dressed up as a nun in some weird type of sexually-confused penance to God?"
"I told you it was for a drama, you ass," Shirota says, a little impatiently. "Are you going to let me in or not?"
"I don't have much choice, now do I?" he says, looking at Shirota's large frame standing half-outside and half-inside Ryo's apartment. "Get the fuck in here before the neighbors start staring."
"Thank God," Shirota says, and then glares as Ryo snickers. "I hate you."
"This is my house. And whatever happened to 'thou shall not hate,' or whatever?"
"Oh good, you're awake now, and we can all be treated to what passes as your sense of humor," Shirota mumbles toward the floor, and Ryo puts his hands on his hips.
"What are you doing here?" Ryo prompts, and Shirota leans against the front door with relief.
"I was filming for my drama," Shirota starts, and then he sighs, and his face looks so melancholy from within his habit that Ryo can't listen because he's too busy laughing his ass off.
"What do you call a nun that walks in her sleep?" Ryo gasps out, and Shirota sighs to himself, and nods as if he knew this was coming. "A roamin' Catholic!" Ryo slaps his own thighs, and he know tons of nun jokes, because no jokes are funnier than the ones that piss off large groups of people.
"Why, oh why, was your place the closest," Shirota asks rhetorically, his eyes rolling ceiling-ward. He looks like a devout nun, and this gets Ryo started on a new bout of chuckles. "Anyway, I was filming for the drama, and I was too tired to change, figuring I'd shower at home. So I started to drive home, but my tire went flat."
"Okay," Ryo says. "And? Change it."
"Well, I was going to, except I didn't have a spare. And I'd left my cellphone in one of the trailers. And I have no cash in my, you know, nun habit."
"How do you get a nun pregnant?" Ryo says, because he can't resist. "Dress her up as an altar boy!"
Shirota pretends like Ryo isn't speaking, and continues his story. "I was kind of hoping to use your phone," he concludes with a long suffering look in his eyes. "If you don't mind."
"You were driving home...in that outfit?" Ryo shakes his head. "Yeah, you can use my phone. Meanwhile, I'm going back to bed. I'm going to be laughing at you in my sweet, sweet dreams."
"Thanks, Nishikido," Shirota says with a smile, and damn it if he isn't still handsome, even in a frock made for for chaste women. "I knew there was kindness buried deep inside you. Very deep."
Ryo narrows his eyes. "Do you really want to aggravate me right now? Cause I have more nun jokes."
"I was praying that you'd be too tired to be a dick."
"You should have been praying for a new face. One that doesn't make you look like an avian predator."
"You're such a charmer," Shirota tells him, sauntering, what the fuck, sauntering, into Ryo's kitchen and picking up the phone. Damn Shirota's heritage for that height that makes him look like a model in the frumpiest, most bizarre getup Ryo has ever seen on a man.
Ryo shakes his head, to clear out the cobwebs, because clearly there are cobwebs, because no matter what Kamenashi says, nun habits do not make people more sexy. (Although Ryo is more inclined to believe that Kamenashi just always finds Meisa sexy.)
Ryo retreats to his bedroom, collapsing exhausted into his bed. A part of him thinks this must be some really bizarre dream, because no way is Shirota Yuu in his kitchen wearing a nun costume on the phone with a car repairman. And no way is Ryo here in his room, getting inexplicably turned on about it. The only explanation is somnolence, really.
Unfortunately, Ryo's dream is actively keeping him from going to sleep. Something about Shirota's giant, oversized nose and giant oversized body is emblazoned on the back of Ryo's eyelids, and when Shirota opens his bedroom door, Ryo's got no way of hiding his giant, oversized erection.
"Well, well, well, what have we here?"
Ryo has been embarrassed in the past, but not really on this level. He kind of wants to be smited where he lies, for thinking dirty thoughts about a nun, but alas, karma never strikes when you want it to.
And then, suddenly, Shirota is on his hands and knees beside Ryo, and the black cotton fabric of his costume is stroking the bare skin of Ryo's arm, and Ryo can't help but think this is way hotter than it should be.
Shirota's eyes light up with mischief, a smile playing about his mouth. "A man asks a nun if he can walk her back to the convent. She says, 'Just this once.' Upon arriving, he asks if he can kiss her. She replies, 'Well, alright, as long as you don't get into the habit.'"
Ryo groans, but it's not at the joke, no not at all. It's because Shirota has wrapped his long, agile fingers around Ryo's cock, and when Ryo looks down, he can see the outline of Shirota's hand moving up and down under his boxers. "Fuck," Ryo says, and Shirota's smile widens.
"Ryo-chan, you want to get into my habit," Shirota says delightedly. "I just want to warn you," he whispers into Ryo's ear, and Ryo shudders because this is so so so wrong and Yamapi can never find out about this or he'll never live it down. "It's a very bad habit."
Before Ryo even knows what's happening, Shirota's got his boxers on the floor and his lips wrapped around Ryo's cock. "You're probably going to hell," Ryo tells him. "Like, don't nuns take a vow of chastity?"
"Oh sure," Shirota tells him, releasing Ryo's cock with a pop, and Ryo hisses sat the cold air on the wet, excited flesh. "But I'm not going to let you fuck me." He spits on the head of Ryo's cock, and swirls his tongue on the slit. "I'm going to preserve my 'virginity' and fuck you, instead."
As he talks, cold, lubricated fingers touch his entrance, and Ryo's hips surge off the bed. Shirota kisses his hip soothingly, before running his tongue around the base of Ryo's shaft in a pacifying gesture. "Calm down, my little lamb."
"Where the heck did the lube come from?" Ryo pants, as one of Shirota's long digits slides into him smoothly, dragging and searching his inner walls for the spot that'll make him scream.
"I said I didn't have cash in my habit," Shirota says. "One always has to be prepared."
"What, are you a boy scout, too? How many weird kinky fetish costumes you got, Shirota?"
"Clearly I just need this one to get into your pants," Shirota responds, and then there are two fingers inside of Ryo, and he's being finger fucked on his bed by a man in a nun's costume, for goodness sakes, what has his life become? Fucking amazing is what, he decides, when a third finger joins the assault on his prostate, and then he stops thinking, because Hallelujah this feels good.
"Three nuns are walking down the street, when a man jumps out and flashes them," Shirota says, his left hand wrapping around Ryo's cock as his right hand slips out of Ryo and lines his shaft up with Ryo's stretched entrance. "The first nun has a stroke," he says, pushing in. He gasps, and then continues. "The second nun has a stroke," he huffs, and jerks his hand lazily up Ryo's dick, "and the third one didn't touch him," he hisses, and Ryo doesn't know why Shirota's nun jokes are better than his, but he doesn't care as long as Shirota just moves already.
"Move, damnit," Ryo says, and Shirota chuckles, and he's still completely dressed, and Ryo can't see what's happening under the habit but he can definitely FEEL it.
"Don't use such naughty language when you're fucking a nun," Shirota chastises, and Ryo tries to roll his eyes but they end up rolling into the back of his head in pleasure, which builds and builds as Shirota's large frame moves above him and all around him.
When Ryo comes, it's almost a surprise, because it happens so fast and he feels so completely spent. Shirota comes careening after him, collapsing on top of him, and Ryo feels like he's suffocating in the thick cotton of Shirota's costume. "Get off of me, bro," Ryo grunts.
"That's 'sister', to you," Shirota replies, breathless. Ryo feels a bit breathless himself, and a bit warm, and a bit affectionate too, all of which are unacceptable feelings even if you take into account the mind-blowing sex.
"Why are you so heavy?"
"It's cause I'm so full of faith," Shirota responds with a laugh. "Well, I have to head back to my car, the repairman is on his way, gracias a Dios," he says. "I was coming in here to tell you that, but I got...distracted."
Ryo flushes, and then he hisses.
"Tsk tsk," Shirota chides him, wagging a finger. "I'll be back later. Be a good little lamb while I'm gone."
"Why are you coming back?" Ryo asks, and despite the venom in his tone he feels strangely excited.
"Today's the sabbath," Shirota says. "But I plan on doing a lot of things to you that don't bear any relation to resting."
"You wearing that?" Ryo asks, before he can stop himself.
"Naw," Shirota says with a smirk. "Maybe the boy scout costume next time."
"A dry cleaners opens up next door to a convent. The owner goes to talk to the Mother Superior of the convent, and asks her, 'you got any dirty habits?'" Ryo's eyes are locked on the ceiling.At Shirota's chuckle, he looks over at him, and Shirota is leering.
"I've got one or two," he says, and then he's gone, and Ryo's never going to get any sleep now.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-08-17 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-17 10:18 pm (UTC)How many times did I already say that I LOVE YOU? Too many, but I don't care and right now I'm pretty tipsy so yeah...I LOVE YOU.
And Yu's fingers ♥
And I have Shironun porn for me *_* I'm moved.
And I know that Ryo probably doesn't wear this kind of underwear, but here, for the sake of it...
no subject
Date: 2011-08-17 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-18 02:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-18 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-17 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-17 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-18 02:01 pm (UTC)ICU KAMEISA.
yay nun jokes!
i love your writing, maia. ¡dame más!
no subject
Date: 2011-08-18 03:42 pm (UTC)And I love the ninjaed Kame/Meisa... <33333
no subject
Date: 2011-08-19 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-27 03:12 pm (UTC)thank you so much for sharing
no subject
Date: 2012-01-20 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-19 12:11 pm (UTC)ASKÖJKJDSKHDASFJKSJFKKJSDKJFDASKJF
I want more :DDDDDDD *isbeinggreedy*